you seem unreal to me. i have tried a thousand times to reconcile all that you are with all that i am not. all that i need with all that i cannot alone provide, and so you seem unreal to me still, after years, like a fantasy come to life. i am not yet used to you sleeping next to me and holding me in the night. coaching me through minor crises that seem so major at the time i know i need to learn to let you help me more than i am used to, and to let you love me. i know i need to learn to let myself love you completely, and not to resent the fact that sometimes i need your help.