Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self-care a priority. I choose me.
To look very cute and very grown-up at the same time to be able to sleep for more than 4-5 hours at a time. To not be on the internet all night. To have time to do what I want.
Reblog this if you are literally suprised when people find you attractive.
you seem unreal to me.
i have tried a thousand times
to reconcile all that you are with
all that i am not.
all that i need with all that i cannot alone provide,
and so you seem unreal to me still, after years,
like a fantasy come to life.
i am not yet used to you
sleeping next to me
and holding me in the night.
coaching me through minor crises that seem so major at the time
i know i need to learn to let you help me more than i am used to, and to let you love me.
i know i need to learn to let myself love you completely,
and not to resent the fact that sometimes i need your help.